SaPpHiRe TeH NiNjA

Balls or GTFO

2010-08-22T20:27:00.001-03:00

Penn and Teller's Bullshit episode on Video Games

2009-07-13T19:36:00.000-03:00

I love their show. Here's the episode on the topic of video games :

Portal: A Day in the Life of a Turret (Machinima)

2009-07-07T10:08:00.000-03:00

Cat Vs. Printer

2009-05-22T19:53:00.001-03:00

For all you cat people out there, here's a funny and cute video:

dinky cars transformers

2009-05-19T22:00:00.001-03:00

I thought this little video was really cute and well made. Enjoy!

If TETRIS had Lyrics

2009-05-15T11:33:00.000-03:00

LOL win

Let Me Borrow That Top

2009-05-12T09:07:00.000-03:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA < nuff said

Man, I'm such a fan of Kelly's now XD LOL I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard at something

for more hilarious Kelly videos, merchandise and more, check out the official site www.liamshow.com

The sad truth about WoW

2009-05-12T08:56:00.000-03:00

This video describes my feelings over WoW players. LOL I love the guy on the left, he's so severely mind-fucked

Batman Gets Pwned

2009-05-12T08:45:00.000-03:00

LMAO this is so win

Star Trek: Beam Me Up, Hottie

2009-05-12T08:38:00.000-03:00

For all the Trekkies and non-Trekkies out there (because it's still funny even if you're not into Star Trek), I present Star Trek: Beam Me Up, Hottie! by www.barelydigital.com , my new favorite parody site

Mega Man 3 remix

2009-05-08T09:41:00.000-03:00

Some pirate dude sent me this link today, and it totally made my day... even if it was from a pirate... damn pirates... at least we have this common interest :

lol

"why It's okay for sex to hurt the vagina" Video respond

2009-04-21T09:47:00.000-03:00

I found this guy on youtube, and laughed so hard at this video:

and my video response :) I totally feel like it's Sapphire's Sunday Night Sex Show

Sarcasm for the win :D

Jack Black on Yo Gabba Gabba

2009-04-06T11:41:00.000-03:00

I was watching TV with my son this week, and when "Yo Gabba Gabba" aired on Treehouse, I was happily surprised to see Jack Black as the guest appearance on the show. Not only was he on it, but he was on the whole episode, and I have to admit, I highly enjoyed this even though I'm not usually into it. Here's the behind the scenes footage from that episode :

Germany Mourns

2009-03-12T10:16:00.000-03:00

My thoughts and prayers are to all the families and friends of the 16 victims, most who were children, that lost their lives in the brutal shooting in Albertville secondary school in the town of Winnenden. I can not imagine living through such a horrific event and suffering the loss of a loved one. My condolences are with you all, and I hope that those who where present during the event find strength and courage to be at peace.

News articles can be found here :

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7938876.stm

Mobo Art for the Sick Kids Project - I need your help

2009-03-04T18:07:00.001-04:00

Hey everyone!

I created a project that I want to undergo this year, where I collect dead motherboards from people, recycle them by making art with them, and then selling them. All the profits made from the sales, I will be donating to the IWK Children Hospital to help sick kids have a better stay.

So with this project, I'm helping the environment by keeping less junk in the landfills, and helping sick children.

So, I need your help. If you have, or have friends/family/coworkers who have any dead motherboards, I'd like you to send them to me. If you are interested to help, let me know and email me at sapphyproductions@gmail.com and put "Mobo Art Project" in the subject line.

I also created a group for this over FACEBOOK here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=131985790299

So please spread the word and help me out if you can!

Thanks <3>

Cancer Strikes Again

2009-03-03T08:54:00.000-04:00

It's been a very emotionally challenging week for my family, as we found out that my aunt has been admitted to the hospital. We noticed a dramatic weight loss in her, over the span of 2 months, she must have lost 60-80 lbs. She always used to be loud and hyper, but even at Christmas she was very quiet and calm (which was really weird), and didn't seem to be feeling well, or eating as much as normal.

So she finally decided to go see her doctor, and he got her to get some tests done immediately, and as soon as the results came in, he had to admit her to the hospital because she suddenly started to retain water, and her tummy was inflated as big as a 9 month pregnant woman. They had to drain out the excess water, which came up to 8.5 L. Her bodily functions are starting to fail already, and it's really not looking god at all. I'd be surprised if she makes it till the end of the month.

She doesn't know the results yet, but knows something is wrong. We, her family, know that she has ovarian cancer, that has spread and is now generalized. She is very scared and freaked out, and we have been there with her at the hospital over the last few days to comfort her and be with her. She will be told by the doctor today what she has, and I'm somewhat glad that I'm not the one there to be with her when she finds out, because I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

It's crazy how everything just happened so fast, and suddenly we're told that she doesn't have long to live. I'm just happy that this woman has had a very good 3 years, since she had finally found the love of her life, at the age of 66 (at the time). She lived a very rough life and went through so much. She deserved a good life, and when she finally got it, cancer strikes. It's very unfair. The worst part, is that her boyfriend had lost his wife to the exact SAME cancer like 10 years ago. That poor man must really feel terrible in all this. I can't imagine losing the people I love most twice like that.

It's very hard watching my whole family trying to stay strong in all this and being so emotional. But we all have the attitude that it's part of life, and people come and go and there's not much we can do about it. It's just a shame that there is no cure for that terrible illeness, and that it can strike anyone at any time. :(

New Article : Energy Drinks

2009-02-25T09:37:00.000-04:00

My latest "She's Got Game" article is officially published! Here I talk about the popularity of energy drinks, and the good and bad things about it.

Please support me and digg! it !

Ninja Restaurant?!?!?!?

2009-02-25T08:52:00.000-04:00

Today is a wonderful day. If joy could be described as an orgasm, I'm totally having a Joygasm right now.

I just found out that the two things in the world that I love most (after my son ofcourse lol) FOOD, and NINJAZ, have been combined into this EPIC restaurant in New-York.

This is, by far, the most epic and awesome place that anyone could ever take me on a date at. LOL. I have to go there one day. I will never feel fulfilled in life if I don't got there. nope... It's a must! hehe

Sapphire's (orgasmic) Apple Crepes

2009-02-23T20:15:00.000-04:00

Somebody asked me how I make my pancakes. I'll be honest, I really like putting cooked or fresh fruit as a topping with my pancakes. I don't have a pancake recipe, I usually buy the Aunt Jemima pancake mix where you add milk and eggs, or make my all time favorite; Crepes. But I can see this recipe adapting well to that as well, if you were to blend in the apple mixture into the actual batter, or use it as a topping.

This recipe I use for crepes (super thin pancakes that you put topping in the center and fold over. It's soooo good ! here's how I make it:

Sapphire's (orgasmic) Apple Crepes

2-3 big apples, peeled, cored, and diced
3 tbsp sugar
60 ml dried white wine
(optional, but really good)4 tbsp golden raisins
1 tsp lemon zest
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

In a saucepan, mix all ingredients except the cinnamon. Bring to a boil, and reduce to simmer for about 5-10 minutes, or until cooked to desired tenderness. Add cinnamon. Put aside.

For the Crepes, whisk together in a bowl until really smooth and no clumps are left:

125 ml sifted all purpose flour
1 egg
175 ml milk
1 tsp sugar

In a big non-stick (important) frying pan on medium-high, heat a little bit of canola oil (because it's tasteless, and healthier). Pour about 1/4 of the batter right into the center, and then lift the pan off the burner, and spread around the batter till it spreads thin into an even circle. Place back on the burner, and let it cook until you see that the batter is cooked all the way through (you can lightly touch the center with your spatula and it's firm. Don't over cook, or they'll get crispy and wont fold properly.

Place the cooked crepe in a plate, then add about 1/4 of the apple mixture in a line in the center, and gently fold both sides over. Drizzle some melted chocolate (or ice cream chocolate sauce) and caramel sauce (or whatever creative topping you can think of... like powdered sugar, cinnamon sugar, chocolate shavings, raspberry coulis etc). Serve and Enjoy!

I've made a lot of people happy in the morning with this breakfast :)

Kids Say the Darnest Things: Science Exams

2009-02-22T23:56:00.001-04:00

The following are all quotes from 11 year old's science exams:

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin.Hydrogin is gin and water."

"When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."

"H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

"When you smell an odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"

"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"

"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."

"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."

"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader"

"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

"The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - A, E, I, O and U."

"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."

"Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky."

"Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."

"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."

"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."

"For a nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops."

"For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make Artificial Perspiration."

"For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."

"For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."

"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."

"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."

"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."

"To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."

"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."

"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."

"The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."

"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."

"Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

"Litre: A nest of young puppies."

"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."

Boy Interupted : I Kissed a Boy and I Liked It

2009-02-22T21:43:00.000-04:00

Hahaha this parody of Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It" is brilliant and funny

Random LOTR Funny

2009-02-22T10:09:00.000-04:00

LOL some people might find this lame, but for some reason I laughed so hard I shed a couple of tears when I saw this funny voice-over Lord Of The Rings clip:

Ninja Parade

2009-02-21T12:33:00.000-04:00

I love my ninjas ^_^

My First Modelling Photoshoot

2009-02-19T16:23:00.000-04:00

So yesterday I went to a photoshoot for Nick Gaines, and I have a good shot of me.

I had to photoshop the hell out of my arm, because I have scars that I was hoping wouldn't be in focus... lol so I hope nobody minds.

Ninjaz Love Them Peachez!

2009-02-18T09:25:00.000-04:00

I was browsing music videos on Youtube, and I remembered this old song I used to love back in the days. I watched the video for the first time ever, and to my great surprise, NINJAZ!!!!

Call it the Valentine's Day Blues

2009-02-15T22:42:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was Valentine's day, and me and two of my best friends and I went out as singles to see a movie together. We all had a great time, laughed a bunch. I really had a blast.

However, today I find myself in a strange mood. I feel like it's hitting me for the first time in a while, that I really feel lonely by myself. I mean, the last 6 years of my life were with boyfriends. And I broke up with my last one in April 2008.

This time it was different, because we had a baby together. Long story short, things just really didn't work out between us, and we both agreed that we tried and it's better off being on good terms and going our own ways.

I've been quite busy all year taking care of my son, and getting myself pulled together after the separation. I've been trying to adjust and live on my own, and it's been challenging emotionally. I can say though that I'm doing pretty good. Today I've applied to college in Web design for September 2009 to help me get a career started so I can be completely independent financially. I hope all that goes well, and I'm definitely looking forward to it.

Despite all the good things looking up for me, I'm still missing being with someone. I love being affectionate, and having a partner for ...everything! you know? I'm touch starved, and miss being intimate. I miss being flattered and complimented. I miss cuddling, and talking about everything and anything. I miss kissing! boy, do I ever love kissing!

I really hope I can find a good partner, who can love me, protect me, confide in me, laugh with me, make love to me, and who can take good care of me, and my son. (In the sens of accepting him, not taking over ownership sorta deal. He still has his daddy). I'm not in a rush to jump into a relationship right now, but I know I definitely hope to find my soul mate.

This music video makes me nostalgic for love

And that's my serious post. I just needed to get it out of my system :P

Love Me Tender...Or Else

2009-02-13T08:56:00.000-04:00

This video totally made my day on so many levels. lol Enjoy!

Daaayum XD

Big is Beautiful Dammit

2009-02-10T16:59:00.000-04:00

Note: when I reffer to "skiny bitchez", I'm not saying I have a problem with anyone skinny. I mean the skinny women who act like they're all that, and have an attitude about themselves... I love everybody, except the occasional asshole, so don't take offense if you're thin. It's only your problem if you're a bitch too.

It's a little sad to admit, but we (women), are on a lot of pressure about the way we look. Where only 1 to 5 % of women are considered to be "Model Material", the rest of us are competing to try to look the same and struggling to do just that. It's so frustrating, because guys will look at these "hot babes" and get some idea in their head that that's what a real woman's supposed to look like. So where does the average, chubby, real woman fit? Luckily not all men are shallow, and there are many who don't see it as an issue. But the real problem is how we feel about ourselves. Are we to give out, and pressure ourselves to be something we're not? Or can we be a little big and feel great in our skin without stressing out about what others think?

Guess what... BIG IS BEAUTIFUL DAMMIT!~ Girls don't need to be skinny bitchez with balloon tits to be sexy. I mean, I don't like when girls' ribs pop out... it makes me want to give them a bucket of fried chicken. I like curvy, real, normal women. Now there is a difference between big, and fat.

Chubby is acceptable, but severely overweight (and by that I mean that you have more than love handles and a couple of rolls), only means that you don't care about your health, and have some issues. I mean face it, we can all let ourselves go a little bit sometimes. But excessively is something to be very concerned about. I mean honestly, you can't feel good about yourself if you're carrying an extra hundred pounds around. It's about being healthy, and when you feel good inside, and outside, your sex appeal goes up.

Here are some REAL women, and who are very sexy even if they're not skinny or with fake boobs:

Beyonce Knowles : She's got nice curvy strong legs and ass , and is all natural beauty

And here are some randoms of curvy, real, beautiful, sexy women

Miss Teen UK 2008 : Chloe Marshall . TAKE THAT SKINNY BITCHEZ!!! hahahahaha About freakin time!

Queen Latifa

Marilyn Monroe

Here's ME! hahaha sorry for the lack of full body shots, I'll update as soon as I get one taken

I'm a size 16-18 right now. The biggest I've been was probably a 20, and that was before my pregnancy. I looked my absolute best as a size 14, and never had problems finding boyfriends. Right now, I'm just stuck on a "plateau" of mommy fat that seems to be stubborn to go away. I'm always at home with the baby, and working from home, so it's hard for me to find the place and time to go work out. So I go for walks at the mall (during winter time) , and I'm looking forward to the summer to go walk everywhere and go swimming. I'd like to get a Wii fit too, cuz it's fun and a good way to work out and get in shape. I just want to be able to keep up with my little man when he starts running around, without feeling like I'm running a marathon. haha

Despite my overweightness, I still feel great in my skin. You know why? Because I know I'm beautiful even if I have a fat ass. If anything, at least I have one, and it's something nice to grab (if you're reaching lol). Hurray for big booties! LOL

It's all about who you are inside. So don't feel pressure if you're not like a porn star. It's okay, because great personality brings you far in life. You won't need to result to porn to make money

Tragedy Strikes Australia :(

2009-02-09T15:24:00.000-04:00

It has been all over the news; Australia's bushfires have claimed up to 166 deaths and several hundred homes and lands burned down.

Over 700 hundred homes have been destroyed by the inferno, leaving many people in tears.

So far two people behind the fires have been caught. The arsonists behind the bushfires will be trialed as Mass Murderers .

By the way, people in Australia, shop at Coles on Friday. All profits from that day are going to the Bushfire Appeal. These people need our help to rebuild their lives. Whole towns are wiped out. We can do something to help. Also if anyone is eligible to donate blood, I'm sure the Red Cross blood service would appreciate help during this time.

I am totally saddened by this tragic event. It's totally unfair that all this distruction and pain was caused by arsonists. I'm hoping that things will settle very soon, and that no more casualties will happen. I have many friends in Australia who have had the scare of their lives, and have lost so much.

If it's in your possibility to help, the red cross accepts donations , and you can find out how to help here: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,25031604-5013122,00.html

Bill Gates Releases Musquitoes at a Packed Conference

2009-02-06T09:55:00.000-04:00

'There's no reason only poor people should get malaria': The moment Bill Gates released jar of mosquitoes at packed conference

Source

It was a show-stopping move by any standards.

Bill Gates, the billionaire founder of Microsoft and a renowned philanthropist, let loose a swarm of mosquitoes at a technology conference in California to highlight the dangers of malaria.

‘Malaria is spread by mosquitoes,’ the Microsoft founder yelled at a well-heeled crowd at a technology conference in California.

’I brought some,’ he added. ‘Here, I’ll let them roam around – there is no reason only poor people should be infected.’
He let the shocked audience sweat for a minute or so before assuring them that the freed insects were malaria- free.

But that didn’t satisfy all the attendees.

‘That’s it. I am not sitting up front anymore,’ eBay founder Pierre Omidyar said.

The stunt was an attempt by Gates – who quit Microsoft last year to concentrate on his charity work - to hammer home the importance of malaria prevention.

It is one of the pet projects of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation that announced last year it was donating £115 million to help develop a vaccine for the deadly disease.
Up to 2.7 million people a year still die of malaria each year, 75 per cent of them African children.

I have to say, I'm proud of the guy for his daring move. Some people say he's only doing it for attention, but I think it's the right kind of attention. He's trying to encourage people to do something if they can to help find preventive means against Malaria for everyone around the world. Getting the big cheeses of the food chain realize that they can easily be on the bottom of it, could just get them to think again about where they spend their money.

+ Respect for Mr. Gates

Christian Bale's Bitch Fit

2009-02-05T12:51:00.000-04:00

If you haven't heard about it yet, actor Christian Bale (the newest Batman), threw a huge fit at one of the crew members for distracting him during the shoot of an intense scene of Terminator 4. Clip available here.

Now, I can understand that when you're very focused in what you do, and you're passionate about your work, you don't put up with any kind of bull shit from others. But going at it for 4 minutes? haha I think it was pretty funny either way. I kinda feel bad for the guy who's getting ripped apart by Mr. Bale here... But lesson learned: don't fuck with Batman

Here's a fun techno remix:

Geek <3 Valentine's day gifts

2009-01-30T08:04:00.000-04:00

Not sure what to give to your geek this Valentine's day? I have compiled a list of awesome gifts for you.

Full article here ( http://www.spawnpoint.com/feature/12668/G33k_%3C3_Valentine%27s_Day_Gifts )

Please remember to DIGG it for me!

She's Got Game - Introduction

2009-01-27T15:19:00.000-04:00

YAY!!! My first article on the gaming site www.spawnpoint.com has been published! I'm super excited! I'm really looking forward to all the work I have to do, because it's a lot of fun. I named my feature "She's Got Game" and made my banner myself.

Funny Durex Condoms Commercial

2009-01-26T14:18:00.001-04:00

Funny Motocross Video...wtf lol

2009-01-24T23:36:00.001-04:00

HAHAHAHA what the fuck?... random funny video

The Yoshimoto Cube

2009-01-23T12:02:00.000-04:00

This definitely beats a Rubik's Cube hands down! (no pun intended lol)

Funniest Ninja Hentai Video Ever

2009-01-22T00:51:00.000-04:00

Warning : sexual content and nudity... ok so it's animated porn, but with a humorous twist lol

I don't know why I keep finding the randomest shit ever, but when I found this, I couldn't stop laughing, and I even had to watch it twice

and LOL at the Sailor Moon reference

Star Wars... explained by someone who hasn't seen it

2009-01-21T19:28:00.000-04:00

Being a fan of Star Wars, when I found this I couldn't help but laugh. It's so cute and funny!

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Tenderest Pork Roast in the World mmmm

2009-01-17T08:33:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I used my slow cooker for the first time. I made a pork shoulder blade roast, and I swear to god guys, this was the best piece of meat I've ever put in my mouth lol. It was sooooo tender, when I tried to pick it up out of the pot to put it on a plate, the meat would shred on contact. It just melted in your mouth, and was so tasty!

FYI: I used a 6 Quarts crock pot

Tenderest Pork Roast You'll Ever Eat

3-5 lbs Pork Shoulder Blade Roast, excess fat trimmed around the edges

Spice Rub:

Paprika
Garlic Powder
Pepper
Greek Meat Seasonings (or any of your favorite meat seasonings. I buy this bottle called "Cavender's All Purpose Greek Seasonings", and it's super good on any meat)
Crushed Rosemary

-Rub spiced all over the meat, coating evenly.
-Heat up a frying pan with a little bit of oil on HIGH heat. Once the pan is already hot, brown your meat (this is called searing), without cooking it through (like 20 seconds each side). This process adds flavor and will keep your meat juicy.
-Place the seared meat in your crock pot, and add:

1 pouch Onion Soup mix
3 cups water

Put the lid on , and cook for 6 hours on high. Baste around 5 hours into it.

Note: you can do this recipe with a beef roast, and it'll be equally tender and delicious. If you want to make a gravy to accompany it, scoop out all the bits and pieces left in the juices, transfer the juice to a saucepan on medium-high heat, and whisk in a couple of spoons of melted butter mixed with flour (equal parts) a little bit at a time, until thick enough. Season to taste and serve with meat and mashed potatoes.

As a side dish, I made a delicious cheesy scalloped potatoes (in the microwave). Here's the recipe:

Microwaved Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes

5 large sized potatoes, sliced in evenly thin slices ( I used and instrument called a mandolin that does it automatically, but you can use a big sharp knife and go by eye too)

-Lay evenly the sliced potatoes in a Dutch oven, or Corningware dish (avoid over piling them in the center, or it wont cook enough). Then, in the following order, evenly lay on top:

1 small onion, sliced thinly
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 cup whole milk
2 tbsp flour
2 tbsp butter or margarine in chunks
1 tsp oregano
Pepper and Salt to taste

Cover and cook in the microwave on high for 15 minutes. Take it out (careful not to burn yourself) and top with:

5 sliced of cheese (kraft singles)
and 1/2 cup shredded cheddar

Cook uncovered in the microwave for another 5 minutes. Serve and enjoy!

Super Mario Theme Song ... Hand farts? LOL

2009-01-16T10:09:00.000-04:00

Now this is a man who knows how to use his hands lol

Survey on Energy Drinks

2009-01-13T15:28:00.000-04:00

I everyone! I'm conducting a survey on energy drinks. Please help me get some statistics by taking a minute to answer a couple of questions here:

Click Here to take survey

Are you a Pastafarian?

2009-01-09T16:03:00.000-04:00

My newest satirical find that gave me a big smile and "/facepalm" moment

I. I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Thou shalt have no other monsters before Me. (Afterwards is OK; just use protection.) The only Monster who deserves capitalization is Me! Other monsters are false monsters, undeserving of capitalization.

II. Thou ought not do stuff thou already knowest is wrong, like killing, lying, cheating, stealing, etc. Dost thou really need these carved into a rock?

III. Judge not, for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business.

IV. Hey, try not to buy too much useless crap, OK?

V. Be kind unto others whether they are kind unto thou or not, for it maketh thou the better person in most situations, and occasionally it doth piss off an idiot, which is funny unto Your Lord the Sauced One.

VI. Thou ought not consume "cheese" from a green cardboard can, nor ought thou allow such cans into thy homes.

VII. Thou shalt share, that none may seek without finding.

VIII. Thou shalt not feel guilty for feeling good.

IX. Thou shalt remember that all the peoples of the Earth are equally My Creatures. When thee worship strippers, always show thy monetary appreciation generously. Remember that midgets are Holy unto Me; thou shalt not overlook them.

X. Thou ought not take thy Pasta in vein. Or artery, for that matter.

XI. Thou ought ever seek to improve thy Pasta, to more closely approach the Divine Noodliness.

XII. Thou ought beware those who claim to have achieved Noodly Perfection, for they are False Chefs whose claims of the Perfect Recipe will lead thee astray.

LOL

And on that note, watch this news clip:

6-year-old takes family car after missing bus

2009-01-08T10:18:00.000-04:00

source : http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iKKETCuXgBnZdJiuCYCqcRYR6w0gD95HS7K00

WICOMICO CHURCH, Va. (AP) — A 6-year-old Virginia boy who missed his bus tried to drive to school in his family's sedan — and crashed. His parents were charged with child endangerment. State police said the boy suffered only minor injuries and authorities drove him to school after he was evaluated at a local hospital for a bump on his head. He arrived shortly after lunch, Sgt. Tom Cunningham said.

It happened around 7:40 a.m. Monday on Route 360, about 61 miles east of Richmond.

The boy, whose name wasn't released, missed the bus, took the keys to his family's 2005 Ford Taurus and drove nearly six miles toward school while his mother was asleep, police said.

He made at least two 90-degree turns, passed several cars and ran off the rural two-lane road several times before hitting an embankment and utility pole about a mile and a half from school.

The boy told police he learned to drive playing Grand Theft Auto and Monster Truck Jam video games.

"He was very intent on getting to school," said Northumberland County Sheriff Chuck Wilkins. "When he got out of the car, he started walking to school. He did not want to miss breakfast and PE."

His parents, Jacqulyn Deana Waltman, 26, and David Eugene Dodson, 40, are each charged with child endangerment, Wilkins said. Waltman is being held without bond. Dodson was released on a $5,000 bond.

It was not clear if they had attorneys.

The boy and his 4-year-old brother were placed in protective custody.

"This really is a story of miracles," Wilkins said. "The Lord was with him, along with everybody else on the highway."

I have to say first and foremost, this kid was fuckin' lucky shit he didn't crash, or die, or hit or kill someone. If I was his mom, I'd be scared shitless about this situation. I hope to God mine never pulls off anything like this lol.

But despite the scariness of this story, I couldn't help but find it cute... lol In a sad kind of way. I mean, the kid has to be loving school a lot, to be willing to drive himself there lol.

A few things do come to my mind as I read this, and it kinda makes me disappointed in the parents behind all this. I mean, I wouldn't let my 6 year old play GTA ! lol like, great way to teach your kids good values and manners, you morons. Also, why was the mother sleeping while her kid was off to take the bus? Not very responsible, in my opinion. Which is probably why they took their kids away. Sad story.

My New Year Resolutions for 2009

2009-01-07T10:27:00.001-04:00

It took me a while to think it through, because if I'm going to set myself some goals, I have to be realistic about them (time, money, etc).

1- I will actually go to the gym (cuz I'm paying and not going LOL). 2-3 times a week, whenever the baby's gone with his daddy. I need to get back in shape, cuz bearing children gives you rolls you didn't have before... which can be annoying lol

2- I will read more books - Being ADHD, reading is a task more than a pleasure, depending on how interesting the book can be. I have to force myself, because I want to go to school in September, and I don't have anybody kicking me in the butt about doing my homework, or studying... so I have to mentally prepare myself.

3- Get accepted in college

4- Make an effort to keep my place cleaner - ESPECIALLY dishes... lol been really lazy about that T_T

5- Teach myself organisation skills... I really need them

I think that pretty much sums it up. I hope I'll be able to achieve all that. I'll be pretty damn proud of myself and a happier person if I do :)

11 year old Sonic the Hedgehog fan fights city hall and wins

2009-01-06T12:18:00.000-04:00

I thought this was really cute (being a gamer, and wanting a hedgehog pet for myself)

Original article here: http://www.ktka.com/news/2009/jan/02/11yearold_fights_city_hall_and_wins

Turkey Pwnage!

2008-12-23T09:18:00.000-04:00

On the 20th, for the first time ever, I made a full Turkey dinner for my friends. I made a bunch of appetizers for us to snack on all afternoon, and of course the full course Turkey dinner with gravy, stuffing, carrots, butternut squash, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce ( cheated on that one, got it pre-made at the deli lol) . One of my friends made a nice Amaretto cheesecake for desert. I ate sooooo much! I feel like I'll be rolling around until the 24th haha.

I don't have the pictures with me *yet*. As soon as I get a hold of them from my friend's camera, I'll update this opening post for you guys.

So here is what I made.

Turkey - Preheat oven at 340 degrees

1x 10lbs Turkey (thawed, rinsed inside out, and no giblets)
1 box of chicken stock
1-2 tbsp butter
Fresh Thyme twigs ( about a dozen )
1 tsp crushed rosemary
1 tbsp paprika
1 tsp garlic powder

Place cleaned turkey in a roasting pan, lined with a grill to prevent the bird from touching the bottom of it. Pour out chicken stock in the bottom, and have some in the cavity (it'll help getting moisture in the meat). Take about 3/4 of the thyme sprigs, and stuff them inside the cavity in the liquids.

With your fingers, rub the butter all over the turkey, and without breaking the skin, go under the skin and rub some in there too. After washing your hands, sprinkle garlic powder, paprika, and remaining herbs evenly all over the surface of the turkey.

Place lid on the roaster, and bake in oven at 340 for 4 hours. For the last cooking hour, place lid sideways to let the steam out. To know if it's cooked, just slide a knife between the leg and breast towards the bone, and if the liquids that surface from the puncture hole come out clear (no redness), it's done.

Make sure to baste with the bottom juices every hour, and right when you take it out once done, before letting it rest in the covered roaster for 20-60 minutes before cutting.

Gravy

-With your baster or carefully with a spoon, take all the juices from the bottom of the roasting pan (including the ones still in the cavity), and put in a small saucepan.
-With a spoon, spoon out the floating fat on top of the liquid and discard. Place over medium heat.
-in a cup, whisk together about a cup of water with 4 tbsp cornstarch, until it's no longer clumpy. Whisk into the stock, and bring to a gentle boil over medium heat, whisking continuously.
-Season with salt and pepper to taste once it's thickened enough. If the sauce isn't thick enough, add a little more dissolved cornstarch into it, until desired consistency.

My Stuffing with Bacon (yes, bacon! :D)

In a large bowl, mix thoroughly using hands:

2 loafs sliced whole wheat bread, a couple of days old (so it's not too squishy like fresh bread), ripped into little pieces
4 big white onions, diced
6 celery stalks, diced in small pieces
1 package of smoked bacon slices, sliced into 2cm/1inch pieces
4 green apples, peeled, cored, and chopped into same size pieces as the onions
1/3 cup dried summer savory
4 garlic cloves, minced
salt and pepper
2 cups (500ml) butter at room temperature
1/3 cup chicken or turkey stock

In a greased (with butter) baking dish, pack all the mixture tightly and evenly. Cover with aluminum paper and bake in the center of oven at 420 for 30 minutes, then uncover for 15 minutes to let top crisp a little bit.

Ninjas Protest at Pirate Festival

2008-12-17T18:22:00.000-04:00

Stuff like this makes me happy in my panties lol

Link : http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=wHJdve7GNuE

Reflection on life

2008-12-10T10:04:00.000-04:00

Here is a beautiful video tribute to Troy Dixon I found on youtube.

I'm still extremely saddened from his departure. Troy was so young, beautiful, and a very talented individual. He had so much going on in his life; he seemed to have the best of everything. It's such a shame that life can just take us away in an instant, and it's scary how the people we love and know can just be gone like that.

It really makes you think... how fragile we are. We get so caught up with everyday life, and sometimes we don't take the time to stop and appreciate everything we have. It's a busy and crazy world around us, and we try our best to do our part and be somebody. Every individual is different, special, loved and cared for by someone. We all share the same faith. It kinda makes you wonder, what kind of a mark will you leave on others once you're gone. How will you be remembered?

It makes me reflect on my life, and how it's been a real roller coaster ride. I've had very hard times, and very blessed times. I've dealt with a great deal of pain, struggles, victories and losses. If I can sum up my achievements, they wouldn't be many or of great importance; however, I am proud of myself for being strong and for trying my best at life. It happened to me, to have considered giving up on many occasions; feeling overwhelmed, depressed and desperate. But like everything else, things come and go, and you can't always have everything your way. All you can do, is try your best and you'll always have the satisfaction of knowing that you did. There will always be things that are beyond our control. And that in itself is what makes me go on.

I appreciate what life has given me. The good and the bad. Because if it wasn't for all of it, I wouldn't be the woman that I am today.

RIP Troy "T-Bag" Dixon

2008-12-09T10:05:00.000-04:00

"I'm sure we all go through hard times, but if you simply surround yourself around the people you KNOW will be there for you down the road, as well as your family, everything will be okay. The people that really love you, really KNOW."

Troy Dixon 1981-2008

I'm sad to announce that Troy Dixon, who played "T-Bag" in my favorite show Pure Pwnage, has passed away on Saturday December 6th 2008 in a vehicle accident. This tragedy and has left me in total shock and heart broken.

The sad news was posted by Jarett Kale on the forums yesterday in this thread : http://forums.purepwnage.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=84495&view=findpost&p=1599693

"Although Troy has been doing stand-up comedy for very few years, he is quickly becoming a popular name in the clubs. He has performed well known venues such as Yuk Yuks, The Laugh Resort, Absolute Comedy, The Alt-Dot Comedy Lounge and many others. He has also showcased for Just For Laughs at the All-Black Comedy show. He has performed at various College campuses and private functions. Troy describes his style to somewhat of an "Eddie Murphy and Jim Carrey in a blender, minus the racial identity!" Aside from being an actor, and model, Troy is also a talented musician, and has been involved around it most of his life spreading the Trumpet, Piano, Drums. He is also a music producer, and hopes to crash the music world in the near future. Troy, a Humber College COMEDY program alumni, continues to perform at comic venues around North America."

-from his myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/troyd1xon

You will be missed Troy. I thought you were a great addition to the Pure Pwnage show, and I enjoyed every minute of you. It's unfortunate that I never got to meet you at the premieres, and I would have loved to give you a big hug. May you Rest In Peace, and God Bless <3>

12 days of xmas - a la Pure Pwnage

2008-12-07T09:30:00.001-04:00

Once again, the Pure Pwnage crew has created a masterpiece for their fans. I fuckin' love these guys lol

Click on the image to download song

12 Days of Christmas (lyrics)

-So yeah, this is the Christmas song and I've got everyone here and we're all going to sing. You guys know what you're gonna sing?

-Oh, I don't do this at all Kyle...

-Umm, I'm gonna start the drums.

-Kyle this's so stupid, like, who- who even cares about Christmas, come on...

-Alright, uhmm, so are you guys ready?

-Yeyeye whatever yeye...

-I'm not.

-Let's start with uhh, Jeremy, I guess... So, what do you want for Christmas?

-Well, everything, Kyle, come on... What don't I want for Christmas, you know, that's all I'm saying.

-Well, ok, what's a one thing you want for Christmas that's gonna set the song now.

-One thing, ok, I'll think about that for a second... Oh, I know what it is, Kyle...

On the first day of Christmas my parents gave to me a copy of StarCraft 2!

-Nice, ok, so is- is there anything else you want for Christmas?

-Uh, no that's it, I think, pretty much.

-Is there, you know, well, the song's gotta go on, you need 2 of something and 3 of something and 4 of something...

-Well, if I got to...

I guess, on the second day of Christmas my parents gave to me another copy of StarCraft 2...

-Key, It's gotta be something different on the second day, like you want 2 of something, then you need 3 of something, then 4 of som- that's the way the song goes.

-Oh, I mean, yeah, I guess there's some other stuff, I guess, I- I could get...

-Alright.

-On the second day of Christmas I found under the tree two pimp video cards and a copy of StarCraft 2!

-Alright, T-Bag, uhh, you want anything for Christmas?

-Not really, I kind of own everything, I mean, what, if I want something, I'll get it myself.

-Ok, there's got to be something that you don't have right now that you would... like to have, right?

-But like what, I mean, I don't, I don't care- Oh, OH!

On the third day of Christmas I found under the tree three cosplay hotties-

-Two pimp video cards and a copy of StarCraft 2!

Well, Kyle that was... fun, I guess I'm gonna take off then-

-Nonono, it's-it's-it's twelve days, we need at least twelve things-

-Twelve?!

-Yeah, twelve.

-Kyle, it's been like, ohhh...

On the fourth day of Christmas my parents gave to me, like, 4 billion Wii points-

-Three cosplay hotties-

-Two new video cards and a copy of StarCraft2!

On the fifth day of Christmas my parents left for me- Kyle's so gay, lol!

-Four- no I'm not!

-Three cosplay hotties-

-Two pimp video cards and a copy of StarCraft 2!!-

-Yeah!

-On the sixth day of Christmas my ISP gave to me a six millisecond ping, five - Kyle's gay!! Lol!

-Four, there's no way!-

-Three cosplay hotties-

-Two pimp video cards and a copy of Starcraft 2!

-Shiit...

On the seventh day of Christmas my sponsors gave to me 7.1 speakers-

-Six millisecond ping, five - Kyle loves men!

-That's totally wrong-

-Three cosplay hotties-

-Two pimp video cards and a copy of StarCraft 2!

-Alright, uh, Dave! Dave, you've been quiet, you wanna sing something?

-No, man, I'm not singing shit!

-It's not hard, you just have to sing whatever you want for Christmas, just put a number in front of it, whatever you-

-*BURP* I don't believe in Christmas.

-Alright, well, why- why don't I just start for you then.

On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me eight-

-Eat a dick-

-7.1 speakers-

-Six millisecond ping, five - Kyle's homosexual!-

-Four, I'm heterosexual-

-Three cosplay hotties-

-Two pimp video cards and a copy of StarCraft 2!

On the ninth day of Christmas I bought with my Wii points MegaMan 9-

-Eight-

-Eat a dick-

-7.1 speakers-

-Six millisecond ping, five - Kyle cradles balls!-

-Four, that's not true!-

-Three cosplay hotties-

-Two pimp video cards and a copy of StarCraft 2!

-Oh, Kyle, I got one- I-I mean, I got one, hold on, kay, get ready. Alright, alright...

On the tenth day of Christmas my sponsors gave to me 1080p-

-MegaMan 9-

-Eight-

-Eat a dick-

-7.1 speakers-

-Six millisecond ping, KYLE STROKES SHAFTS!!!

-I don't know what you're talking about-

-Three cosplay hotties-

-Two... pimp video cards and a copy of StarCraft, like, 2!

-Nice-

-Ok, so uh, Doug couldn't make it, because he said he was too busy, but he said he'd sing something over Vent.

*beep* Hey, Doug, are you there? *beep*

-*beep* Ahahaha!! *beep*

-*beep* Ok, so are you ready to go? *beep*

-*beep* Yeh-Yeah! Let's do it!! *beep*

*beep* On the eleventh days of Christmas my AK gave to me eleven straight headshots-

-1080p-

-MegaMan 9-

-Eight...-

-Eat a dick!-

-7.1 speakers-

-Six millisecond ping, five - Kyle loves the gay!-

-I don't... love the gay-

-Three cosplay hotties-

-Two pimp video cards and a copy of StarCraft 2!!1

-Alright, so here's twelve, it's the last one-

-Oh, finally!...

-Yay...

-It's been like eighteen hours!-

-Woo!-

-No, it's been, like, four minutes, so...

-Yeah, three or four minutes, man, but you finish it out-

-Oh, come on Kyle, twelve's a big number-

-Let's go, let's go-

-Ohh...

On the twelfth day of Christmas I pwned on my PC twelve billion noobs-

-Awahahaha!!

-1080p-

-MegaMan 9-

-Eight-

-This song licks-

-7.1 speakers

-Six millisecond ping, KYLEEE SWALLOOOOOOWS LOOAAAAADS!!!1

-Four, what the fuck?!-

-Three cosplay hotties-

-Two turtling noobs and a copy of StarCraft 2 alpha!

Seriously Blizzard, pleeeeeeeaaaase… I’m on my hands and knees… Blizzard, pleeeeeaaase, hook a brother up, please, Starcraft 2 alpha, pleeeaaase…

- There’s only one brother here.

-Ahahahaha, oh my god, that was awesome, huuh... Kay, sorry, what are we doing?... *beep*

Kung Fu Fun

2008-12-04T09:53:00.000-04:00

I'm totally have an epic Nerdgasm over this new addition to my Kung Fu collection - I found these awesome DVD sets at Walmart for under 5$ yesterday:
Jackie Chan Classics, and Warriors of the East

I mean, I absolutely love Jackie Chan. And look how freakin' young he was back then! hehe it's kinda cute.

The great thing about old Kung Fu movies is the "cheese factor". All the one-liners and the cheesy special effects make them hilarious. And for some reason, there's always the little old Master with the rideculous mustash and haircut, and long white beard. Something about them beards, just makes them EPIC, and allmighty! hahaha. I always wondered how they grew them, cuz I thought Asians didn't really have facial hair ... Must be because they're made of AWESOMENESS !!!!

Speaking of awesomeness, I just watched Kung Fu Panda last night (finally!). My god it was hilarious! Jack Black has always been one of the very few actors who make me laugh; and I found his job in the film awesome. I was happy to see Jackie Chan as the Monkey, Seth Rogan as the Manthis, and Angelina Jolie as the Tigress; for celebrity goodness.

But omg, the jokes were the best! I honestly don't remember the last time I laughed so much. Deffinitely worth adding to my collection of EPICNESS! *makes a fist and twitches eye*

"Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend...he's so deadly, in fact, that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!"

"I see you like to chew... Maybe you should chew... ON MY FIST!"

LOL I loved it XD

Introduction

2008-12-02T23:31:00.000-04:00

Current Mood: Tired, headache and a little cynic

So, I finally decided to go ahead and get a blog up. I suppose I could make the best out of my first post and talk a little bit about myself. lol.

I'm Sapphire. Young woman in my early twenties, living in Canada. I'm a Taurus, and single mother of one.

In my free time I enjoy cooking, playing video games, art, music, movies, books, learning languages and spending time with my family and friends.

Now, because it's almost 1 am here, and I've spent a couple of hours making my profile looking pretty, I'm gonna be lazy and copy/paste some shit from my myspace page lol. Enjoy!

Random facts about me:

- I can't stand the feel of cotton balls
- I hate banana flavored things, but I love fresh bananas. Weird thing is that I used to hate them when I was a kid...
- I love taking long bubble baths; total relaxation
- Cheese is my favorite food (except the strong ones like blue...eww)
- I feel more comfortable speaking in front of a group, than being one on one with a stranger (depends on the person ofcourse).
- I like to watch the food channel all the time; sometimes it's scary that I can guess what they're gonna put in the food, before they say it.
- Sometimes I drink out of the juice and milk containers
- I sleep sideways with a pillow or blanket between my knees
- My family is very important to me
- I like to listen to people's accents
- Cheesecake is the best way to bribe me for something
- I seem to only play my piano when I feel sad or down about something
- I can quote the entire Lord of the Rings extended edition trillogy from begenning to end as I watch them (not while watching with others, because I know it can be annoying lol)
- When I was a little girl, I wished I was a mermaid. When we'd go to the beach, I'd run to the water and start calling out to fish to come and get me to take me home
- I have a penchant for Martial Arts; something so freakin sexy about them
- I can't stand selfish, arrogant and discriminating people
- I wanted to be a movie director when I grow up; and own my own restaurant when I'd retire
- Bruce Willis and Jackie Chan are my celebrity crushes since forever
- I always thought that being adopted by the Osbournes would have been so freakin' awesome
- I'm right handed, but can use both hands equally to sculpt and play the piano
- I can blow bubbles with my toungue
- I prefer wine over beer; and usually only drink it with food.
- I hate politics
- I'd love to go to Japan and live there for at least a year to really experience the culture
- I'm infatuated with Asian cultures
- I love sleeping
- My first language is French, then English, and have learned Spanish (though, not practicing much, I'm a little rusty). I'm interested in taking on Mandarin and Japanese as future projects
- I wish I had a house so I could have a nice big kitchen and a garden
- I hate cauliflower - it looks too much like brains and it smells like feet
- I love peacock feathers
- My favorite flowers are Asian lilies and Orchids
- I eat capers on pasta ; people tend to find that weird... I love it
- Olives are so good! aspecially when picked out of the jar and eaten spurratically throughout the day
- I'm the oldest of 3 in my family; my brother and sister are twins 8 1/2 years younger than me
- I'm a cat person. Dogs are cute too, but I don't like their smell.
- I love kissing
- My favorite color is Orange
- My favorite childhood memories are the good times my best friend Mindy and I had together. We used to laugh so much, and were too little brats. We used to drive people crazy when we were in the same room
- I have vertigo
- I prefer ambiant lighting than ceiling lights
- I wish fast food didn't taste so good, wasn't so damn bad for you and cheap; and that real good food wasn't so freakin expensive :(
- I don't really care about not having a car. I take the bus, walk or cab it if I need to. Cheaper, and better for the environment
- My favorite soda-pop is Dr. Pepper
- My worst courses in school where Math and Sciences; my best were Arts and Languages
- Biggest pet peeve: people who think and act like they know everything and don't listen to what others have to say.
- Best 3 skills/talents: Artistic, good cook, musician
- Best 3 personality traits: easy to get along with, intuitive, patient
- Worst 3 flaws: procrastinator, not organised, and I have a tendancy to "ignore" my problems and after a while I end up overwhelmed
- I love nature, the great outdoors
- I'm a geek and proud of it
- My favorite French words are: Pamplemousse (grapefruit) and Citrouille (pumpkin)
- I think girls are prettier than boys, but boys are easier to get along with than girls
- I like my steak thick, marinaded, and grilled medium, served with mushrooms... *drools*
- My favorite fruit is Pineapple
- I can't stand the feeling and noise it makes when I walk on snow
- I prefer being called Sapphire by my friends than my real name Véronick (pronounced the same as Véronique). Eventually, when I have money to waste on something, I'll legally add it to my name so I can get away with it.
- If I was made of water, I'd be a small river with soft cascades
- My favorite perfume is "Buriti" from Fruits of Passion
- Though I am not into it myself, I find tasteful goth/punk culture attractive
- I hate horror and chick flicks (with a couple of exceptions)
- My favorite fictional character is Captain Jack Sparrow
- My favorite made up quote is "What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?"
- Favorite Ice Cream: Dairy Queen's Oreo Blizzard , or Rainbow Sherbet or Maple Pecan
- I change my hair color often because I get bored